No, that’s not directed at you – any of you. That’s actually what they’re called. This, by far, was my favorite 3 pages of the book. Not because of Giulia’s heartache, because we all sit and wonder the “what-ifs” after a breakup. We all try to somehow find a backwards way of blaming ourselves to ease the pain of an unexplained breakup. It sucks, no matter what spin you put on it. What I loved about it was not only the Sex and the City reference to one of my favorite episodes, but how she came full circle. She had been sent a couple of beautiful looking cupcakes and refused to eat them. She tried to pass them around her office, and in a feat of solidarity, they all refused to eat them and the beautiful cupcakes with bees and flowers on them ended up in the garbage. She got her closure and her satisfaction by baking a batch of Fuck You Cakes.

Now, it sounds a little funny to think I baked these bourbon-iced, funnily-named cupcakes with my almost-2 year old, but we had a blast. All she knew was we were making cupcakes. I keep a jar of vanilla frosting in the house just in case, and I iced her one with that. She had a great time helping me mix the ingredients and stir the batter in my not-so-great yard-sale-bought stand mixer… (my birthday is December 15…cough cough KitchenAid cough cough..) and I put the icing together after she went to bed.

My icing didn’t turn out quite as it should though – maybe it’s my crappy mixer, maybe because I used whiskey because it’s all I had in the house, or I added a touch too much milk. The icing was a little too thin, but they were yummy. I love a good cupcake and a good drink… and this combined both. After a whirlwind weekend, I found myself at home with a sleeping child (Brett is headed to Delaware to buy a 1973 Nova..his latest “toy”) and a delicious cupcake and a glass of wine.

For those of you who are new bakers, this recipe is quite easy to make. They’re delicious, and you don’t need a breakup to have a reason to make them. Try it out, and if you’re too afraid, grab Giulia’s book and remember, (from one chocolate lover to another) frozen Yodels are always a great failsafe if the cupcakes don’t quite turn out right!

Fuck You Cakes

Cupcakes:
Cupcake liners
2 cups cake flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 stick butter, softened
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs, room temperature
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 whole milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Insert liners into muffin tins. Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt and set aside. Cream butter and sugar with a hand mixer (or a standing mixer fitted with a paddle) at medium speed until fluffy; add eggs one at a time, then the vanilla, and beat until smooth. Reduce mixer speed to low and add the sifted ingredients to the butter mixture a little at a time, alternating with the milk until fully incorporated. Do not overmix, as this will make for tough cupcakes, and you’ve suffered enough.
Spoon batter into muffin tins, filing each one a third of the way. Bake until tops are golden and springy, 20-25 minutes. Yield: about 12 cupcakes.

Chocolate Bourbon Frosting
(because you need a drink)

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
2-3 tablespoons bourbon (depending on how bad it was)
4 tablespoons milk
1 stick butter, unsalted, very soft
1 box confectioner’s sugar
1-2 tablespoons milk

In a small bowl, whisk the cocoa, bourbon, and 2 tablespoons milk. Cream the butter with a hand mixer or standup mixer on medium speed until smooth, then add the sugar 1 cup at a time until fully incorporated. Add the bourbon mixture and continue beating a little at a time until the frosting is fluffy and spreadable.

Giulia’s note:Don’t be so upset with yourself that you eat more than one or two cupcakes.  Be angry with him! Bring whatever is left to work.  Your colleagues will eat these and you’ll feel lighter for having shed him and not OD’ing on cupcakes.